The Aporeticus

This is a healthy and ethical pot-bellied seahorse from the New Orleans Aquarium of the Americas. This is an abusive seahorse holding on, with its perfectly-suited tail, to a ‘pipefish’. Taxozoologically-speaking, ‘pipefish’ are also horses of the sea, but due to prenatal malnutrition (particularly in developing parts of the oceans) they do not gestate fully and are born malformed. Indeed, if one examines the constituent anatomical components of pipefish by colliding them at great speed in an fauna accelerator, one can see that they are, in fact, simply unspooled and dehorsified seahorses. Through physical therapy, some learn to hold themselves in the charming, haughty contrapposto of the seahorse (often described as the posture of a man holding two martinis on a yacht), and some even wear horse-face prostheses, but many more simply pretend to be small seasnakes.